What is true love, and how does it differ from infatuation or desire?

“Two Loves” by amvion utilizing street art found in San Francisco, California (2023).

Inspired by Plato's Symposium, this topic delves into the essence of love in our daily relationships.

SUMMARY

• The dialogue begins with an examination of love’s multifaceted nature, distinguishing between its emotional, intellectual, and spiritual dimensions, and emphasizing its significance beyond mere physical attraction or affection.

• The conversation highlights Plato's enduring influence, particularly his Symposium concepts, on contemporary understandings of love. It underscores the journey from physical attraction to deeper, more meaningful connections, aligning with Plato's ladder of love.

• The discussion delves into various types of love – romantic, familial, friendship, and self-love – and how each plays a unique and vital role in personal development and fulfillment.

• Acknowledging the difficulties inherent in love, the dialogue addresses common challenges such as communication, change, and external pressures, while also viewing love as a catalyst for self-discovery and personal growth.

• The conversation concludes by reiterating love's dynamic nature and its central role in the human experience. It emphasizes that love is not just a feeling but involves ongoing actions and choices that contribute to personal and relational growth.

Introduction to the Concept of Love

Jennifer: "I've always thought of love as just a strong emotional attachment, especially in romantic relationships. Isn't that what love is?"

Brent: "That's a common view, but love might be more complex than that. I think love involves deeper elements like understanding, commitment, and even growth. What do you think about including these aspects?"

Jennifer: "Interesting. So, you're saying love isn't just about feelings? I mean, emotions are fleeting. How does understanding play into this?"

Brent: "Exactly, emotions are part of it, but not the whole story. For instance, understanding your partner, appreciating their values and experiences, isn't that also a form of love?"

Jennifer: "It does make sense. But then, how do we differentiate between romantic love and other kinds like the love between friends or family?"

Brent: "That's a good question. Perhaps the difference lies in the nature of the connection and commitment? Romantic love might include a desire for a deeper union, while familial love or friendship is based on shared experiences and mutual support."

Jennifer: "I see. But what about love at first sight? That's purely emotional, isn't it?"

Brent: "It could be more about attraction and infatuation at the beginning. True love, as some might argue, develops over time through shared experiences and mutual growth. Don't you think so?"

Jennifer: "That's a valid point. So, you're suggesting that love evolves and isn't static. But then, how do we account for the end of love, like when relationships break down?"

Brent: "Perhaps when the growth or understanding that sustains love stops, or when individuals grow in incompatible ways. Love might require nurturing and effort to sustain. It's not just a feeling but a dynamic process."

Jennifer: "I hadn't considered it that way. So, love is more about an ongoing journey of understanding, growth, and adaptation, rather than just a static emotion?"

Brent: "Precisely. It's a multifaceted experience that encompasses much more than just emotional attachment."

Plato’s View on Love (Reference to 'Symposium')

Jennifer: "Now that we've talked about the complexities of love, how does Plato’s view in the Symposium fit into this? What was his take on love?"

Brent: "In the Symposium, Plato explores love through a series of speeches given at a banquet. He presents love, or Eros, not just as physical attraction but as a deep desire for something beyond ourselves. It’s more about a longing for beauty and truth."

Jennifer: "So, it’s not just about romantic love?"

Brent: "Right. For Plato, love starts with physical attraction but should ideally lead to the love of higher things – like virtues, knowledge, and ultimately, the form of beauty itself. It’s a journey from the physical to the spiritual."

Jennifer: "That's quite different from our usual view of love. Does that mean physical attraction is less important in Plato’s eyes?"

Brent: "Not less important, but rather the first step in a ladder of love. Physical attraction is where love begins, but through various stages, it evolves into a love for the essence of beauty and goodness."

Jennifer: "I see. So, physical love is a starting point, but not the end goal?"

Brent: "Exactly. The end goal, in Platonic love, is to reach a form of love that appreciates and desires the eternal and unchanging – the 'Form of the Good'. This is the highest form of love, one that transcends physicality."

Jennifer: "That sounds idealistic. Is such a love achievable?"

Brent: "Plato might say it's rare and challenging but possible through philosophical inquiry and personal growth. It’s about transcending the physical to connect with something deeper and more meaningful."

Jennifer: "So, in this view, love is almost a path to wisdom and self-improvement?"

Brent: "Precisely. It’s a transformative force that guides us from the physical attractions to a deeper understanding of the true nature of beauty and goodness. In a way, love is both a journey and a destination in Plato’s philosophy."

Different Types of Love in Daily Life

Jennifer: "Considering Plato’s ladder of love, how do we relate it to the different types of love we experience daily? Like between friends, family, or even self-love?"

Brent: "Plato’s concept can indeed be extended to these forms. Each type of love has its unique characteristics and serves different purposes in our lives. For instance, the love we share with family often involves a deep sense of belonging and unconditional support."

Jennifer: "True, that’s quite different from romantic love. But does Plato's idea of ascending to higher forms of love apply here?"

Brent: "In a way, yes. For example, familial love can evolve beyond mere obligation to a genuine appreciation of each family member as an individual. This is similar to moving from the physical aspect of love to a more profound emotional and intellectual connection."

Jennifer: "What about friendship? How does that fit into this framework?"

Brent: "Friendship can be seen as one of the purest forms of love, as it’s often not based on physical attraction or obligation. It’s more about a mutual appreciation of each other’s qualities and a shared bond. In Plato’s terms, this could be closer to the higher rungs of the ladder where love is based on virtues and mutual respect."

Jennifer: "That makes sense. And self-love? Sometimes it’s seen as selfish."

Brent: "Plato would probably argue that proper self-love is essential. It’s not about narcissism but about knowing and improving oneself, which in turn enables us to love others more fully. It’s like the saying, ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup.’"

Jennifer: "So, in a way, loving oneself is a step towards achieving a higher form of love?"

Brent: "Exactly. By understanding and valuing ourselves, we are better equipped to appreciate and understand others. This self-love is a foundational step in the journey towards the love of goodness and beauty as Plato envisioned."

Jennifer: "It seems like all these types of love, though different, are interconnected and essential for our personal growth."

Brent: "Precisely. Each form of love enriches our lives in different ways and helps us climb the ladder towards understanding the true essence of love and beauty, as per Plato’s philosophy."

The Purpose and Importance of Love

Jennifer: "We've discussed different types of love, but what about the overall purpose of love? Why is it so important in our lives?"

Brent: "Love, in many ways, is what gives life meaning and direction. It’s not just about personal happiness; it’s a force that drives us towards connection, understanding, and growth."

Jennifer: "So, you’re saying love is more than just an emotion?"

Brent: "Absolutely. Love motivates us to act, to care for others, and to improve ourselves. It’s a key factor in personal development and in building strong, supportive communities."

Jennifer: "That makes sense. But with such a broad impact, doesn’t the importance of love vary across different relationships and stages of life?"

Brent: "Definitely. The role of love evolves as we do. In youth, love might be more exploratory, helping us to understand who we are and what we value. As we grow older, love can become a source of stability and support."

Jennifer: "And what about the idea of love as a motivator for personal growth? How does that work?"

Brent: "Love challenges us to be better versions of ourselves. Whether it’s through romantic relationships, friendships, or familial bonds, love can push us to confront our weaknesses, develop empathy, and practice kindness and patience."

Jennifer: "That’s a lot of responsibility for one emotion."

Brent: "It is, but remember, love isn’t just a feeling. It’s an action and a choice. Choosing to act lovingly, even in difficult situations, is part of what makes it so powerful and essential."

Jennifer: "So, in a way, love is about the actions we take and the choices we make as much as it is about how we feel?"

Brent: "Exactly. It's about the actions we take to show appreciation, to support others, and to build connections. This is why love is central to so many aspects of our lives – it influences how we relate to others and how we see the world."

Love and Relationships

Jennifer: "Considering the importance of love, how does it specifically impact our relationships? What role does love play there?"

Brent: "Love is foundational in relationships. It's the glue that holds relationships together and the lens through which we view our interactions with others. It's about more than just feelings; it's about commitment, understanding, and mutual respect."

Jennifer: "But if love is so crucial, why do so many relationships struggle or fail?"

Brent: "That's a complex issue. Sometimes, it's a matter of love transforming or fading over time. Other times, it might be due to a lack of communication, unmet expectations, or even external pressures. Love, while powerful, isn't always enough to overcome every challenge."

Jennifer: "So, what can we do to maintain love in our relationships?"

Brent: "It requires effort and willingness to grow together. Keeping love alive means continuously nurturing it through open communication, empathy, and shared experiences. It's about adapting to changes and being willing to work through difficulties together."

Jennifer: "That sounds challenging, especially in long-term relationships."

Brent: "It can be, but it's also rewarding. Enduring love in a relationship offers a deep sense of companionship and support. It's about building something greater than the sum of its parts."

Jennifer: "And what about societal and cultural norms? How do they impact our understanding and expression of love in relationships?"

Brent: "Societal and cultural norms play a significant role. They shape our expectations about love and relationships, what's acceptable, and what's not. These norms can sometimes be limiting, but they also provide a framework within which relationships operate."

Jennifer: "Can love help us transcend these norms?"

Brent: "In many cases, yes. Love can challenge societal norms, pushing us to redefine what relationships can be. It encourages us to see beyond conventional boundaries and to value the deeper connection we share with others."

Jennifer: "It seems like maintaining love in relationships is a balancing act."

Brent: "Exactly. It's about balancing emotional attachment with personal independence, societal expectations with personal needs, and the ideal of love with its everyday reality."

Challenges of Love

Jennifer: "We’ve talked about the positive aspects of love, but what about the challenges? What are some common difficulties people face in love?"

Brent: "One major challenge is communication. Misunderstandings and unexpressed feelings can create significant barriers. It’s not just about talking, but also about listening and understanding your partner's perspective."

Jennifer: "That’s true. But aren’t there also challenges in how we deal with changes over time in relationships?"

Brent: "Definitely. People change, and so do their needs and desires. A relationship that once seemed perfect can face strains as individuals evolve. Adapting to these changes while maintaining the bond of love is a common challenge."

Jennifer: "What about external factors, like stress from work or societal pressures?"

Brent: "External stresses can certainly impact relationships. Financial problems, work stress, societal expectations – these can all create tension and distract from the relationship itself."

Jennifer: "I’ve noticed that past experiences, like previous relationships or family background, can also affect how people approach love. Do you think that’s a challenge too?"

Brent: "Absolutely. Past experiences can shape our expectations and fears in love. For example, someone who’s been hurt in the past might find it hard to trust again, or they might bring unresolved issues into new relationships."

Jennifer: "So, dealing with the ‘baggage’ we carry is part of the challenge?"

Brent: "Yes, and it’s important to acknowledge and work through this baggage. Being aware of how your past affects your present can help you approach your relationship more healthily."

Jennifer: "It seems like love requires a lot of work and self-awareness."

Brent: "It does. Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s a series of actions and choices. Dealing with challenges in love often requires effort, patience, and a willingness to grow both individually and as a couple."

Love as a Path to Self-Discovery

Jennifer: "We've discussed the challenges in love, but can love also be a path to self-discovery?"

Brent: "Absolutely. Love often pushes us to explore parts of ourselves we might not have otherwise. It can reveal our strengths, weaknesses, and areas where we need to grow."

Jennifer: "So, in a way, love acts as a mirror reflecting our true selves?"

Brent: "Exactly. In relationships, we're often faced with situations that test our patience, empathy, and understanding. How we respond to these situations can teach us a lot about who we are."

Jennifer: "It sounds like love can be quite transformative."

Brent: "It is. Love can inspire us to be better people. For instance, to make a relationship work, we might learn to be more communicative, less selfish, or more understanding. These changes contribute to our personal growth."

Jennifer: "But isn't there a risk of losing oneself in the process of adapting for a relationship?"

Brent: "There is a risk, which is why it's important to maintain a balance. While love can encourage us to grow, it shouldn't require us to lose our essence or change who we fundamentally are."

Jennifer: "That’s a fine line to walk."

Brent: "It is. But part of self-discovery is understanding and maintaining your own identity, even as you grow and adapt within a relationship. It’s about growth, not change."

Jennifer: "How does one ensure they're growing and not just changing to please their partner?"

Brent: "It comes down to self-awareness and open communication. Regularly reflecting on your feelings and discussing your growth with your partner can help ensure that the changes are positive and true to your self."

Jennifer: "So, in a healthy relationship, love and self-discovery go hand in hand."

Brent: "Precisely. A healthy relationship fosters an environment where both partners can grow and discover more about themselves while supporting each other in the process."

Applying Platonic Concepts to Modern Love

Jennifer: "Given all we've discussed, how do we apply Plato’s concepts, especially from the Symposium, to modern love? Do they still hold relevance?"

Brent: "Plato’s ideas, particularly the concept of love as a journey towards the good and the beautiful, are still very relevant. In modern relationships, this can be seen as the move from initial attraction to a deeper, more meaningful connection."

Jennifer: "So, starting with physical attraction and moving towards something more profound?"

Brent: "Exactly. In today's context, it means that while physical attraction might initiate a relationship, true love develops as we appreciate deeper qualities in our partners – their virtues, intellect, and soul."

Jennifer: "That sounds idealistic, especially with today’s fast-paced and often superficial dating culture."

Brent: "It does, but even in today's world, many people seek a connection that goes beyond the surface. Plato's ladder of love can be a guide for developing relationships that are not just based on physical or emotional attraction but on mutual growth and understanding."

Jennifer: "But how practical is it to seek this kind of love in today’s society?"

Brent: "It's certainly challenging, given societal pressures and the pace of life. But it's not about perfection; it's about the direction we strive towards in our relationships. It's about valuing and seeking those deeper connections."

Jennifer: "It seems like Plato’s concept requires a lot of introspection and effort."

Brent: "It does. Modern love, if guided by Platonic principles, involves continuously aspiring to enrich and deepen the relationship. It's about both partners evolving together, not just as lovers but as human beings."

Jennifer: "That’s quite a profound way to look at relationships."

Brent: "Indeed. Plato’s perspective encourages us to view love as a transformative journey – one that enhances our lives and elevates our human experience."

Conclusion

Jennifer: "We've covered a lot about love – its different forms, challenges, and how Platonic concepts apply to modern relationships. It's clear that love is much more than a simple emotion."

Brent: "Absolutely. Our discussion highlights love's complexity and its pivotal role in personal growth, relationships, and self-discovery. Love is a dynamic and multifaceted experience that affects virtually every aspect of our lives."

Jennifer: "From our conversation, it seems that love, in all its forms, is essential for a fulfilling life. It's not just about romantic relationships but also about connections with family, friends, and even within ourselves."

Brent: "Indeed. Each form of love enriches us in unique ways. Love drives us to grow, challenges us to understand ourselves and others better, and provides a foundation for building meaningful relationships."

Jennifer: "And applying Plato’s ideas, especially the concept of love as a journey towards the good and the beautiful, offers a valuable perspective in understanding and nurturing these relationships."

Brent: "Yes, Plato’s concepts encourage us to see love as a path leading to deeper understanding and appreciation of the world around us. It's a journey towards finding beauty and meaning in our lives and relationships."

Jennifer: "This conversation has really opened my eyes to the importance of continuously nurturing love in all its forms. It’s not a static state but an ongoing process of growth and understanding."

Brent: "That’s an important takeaway. Love is an evolving journey, not a destination. It requires effort, understanding, and a willingness to grow both individually and together with others."

Jennifer: "So, in essence, love is about the actions we take and the choices we make, as much as it is about how we feel."

Brent: "Precisely. It’s about the continuous actions and choices we make to show appreciation, support others, and build connections. Love, in all its complexity, is central to the human experience."